Leaving an Abusive Relationship
We as women I personally feel like we were born, created with this GOD given skill of nurturing and caring. We always seem to want to take care of something or someone and we feel good as women when we do. Even when the task looks already damaged we as women look at it twice to see if it can be mended or sewned into something great. We in my opinion do no different in raising our children and for the guy we have seemed to have fallen head over heels for..For whatever you’re reason of loving when you do it..you mean it and we do our best to show that love and caring side of us..Maybe just maybe we can mold something great..
It is the current year of 2020 and my oh my has there been so much that has happened. Many losses if lives from all over due to sudden illness, so much change within our community as we aren’t as free to walk around as our normal selves anymore. So much change.
However, As I read posts from online communities I’m involved with, along with the emails and messages to my phone..What I know to still be relevant if not even worse than it has been prior to a Corona-virus is the physical abuse amongst couples in the house. The domestic violence incidents have increased everywhere and in seeing more of this today..I wanted to write.
Every home stressed a lil bit and some more than others because many are out of work, libraries are closed, malls are closed down along with a lot of restaurants..there is no escape or calming of oneself quite like we are used to thanks to all this Quarantine and shutting down of a lot of businesses..We all are stressed.
In the midst of, I stand with the question of Why?..Why are you there still in the relationship..How can you stand to be around your abuser for another 24 hours unsure of the next physical altercation? I cleverly reminded myself on how that I too asked my ownself the same question and my reason was for more than one reason why I remained…
I first have never been one to give up easily (there’s nuturing and caring) I always believed in fighting for love and what I believed in..I knew and kept that you can’t always run at the first sign of trouble and this meant in my relationships as well. If I was to literally fight I was fine with it in proving my love and dedication by remaining afterwards I thought. But real love won’t have you literally physically fighting to prove anything to one another.
I secondly thought I had to have him. For I did nothing alone. The fear that everything would be on me and soley me scared me I didn’t see it financially without him. I loved him and actually wanted us to work more than anything else. He would say to me in heated arguments how all I had was because of him and how without him things would be harder and worse and that frightened me. I didn’t want to start over..that’s expensive. The more and more he said this I actually started to believe it. I didn’t think it was possible by myself and my children.
For years those were the reasons I stayed..For years unsure about the next physical fight, blaming myself for the fights happening, embarrassed, hurt scared in one house. Sure we had moments of pleasure but how long could I make love to the very person that has my body bruised up? I did and took it because I was used to it after so long. I didn’t work, have a sitter how an I to find a way out if this I would cry big tears about. Leaving wasn’t simple and comfortable neither was staying simple and comfortable.
All these years and my reality kept me in a abusive relationship for years.
My praying increased along with my tears and the more and more I prayed and cried it seemed the more and more I became enlightened to my own self worth. In praying and researching scripture I would think on my living situation and my relationship and compare it to what GOD said he wanted from me and how he wanted me to live as servant and who I am as woman.
Once I read that I was far more precious than rubies (Proverbs 3:15) from the Word of GOD and I compared it to my neck and face in the mirror..I stepped back and asked me what I thought about my ownself. If I wanted out what was causing me grief and pain why couldn’t it be removed type of faith started to develop. I have the mental know how and physical capabilitiy to receive help and income. The more and more I stopped tolerating and searched and prayed for help the more and more it became available.
My deliverance didn’t come overnight and I battled emotionally upon really leaving.. BUT 1st John 4:4 told me that Greater is HE that is in me than one if this world…Why couldn’t I make it?.. Especially with GOD.
I cried and was scared, unsure and just hurt by the heart. I had to leave for my life and my daughters lives..I had to go. I couldn’t believe in him or his words anymore. It wasn’t easy. It was a lot of work and being alone but I’d rather be by myself struggling than to have my life in jeapordy by someone I was supposed to love. I’d rather be by myself than to be harmed in anyway by the man that says he loves me..there is no rationality and I don’t even know when the next time we will physically fight.
I am here to let women know that I have read posts of and all over in this year of 2020 that the devil is a liar, there is a way out, you can make it and it won’t be quick or easy but GOD WILL provide for you are yours and bless opportunities before you.
As on purpose the Lord created the woman never did he have abuse and gatm towards you from a guy. You instead deserve someone that will love you the way that Christ loved and cared for the church. I care nothing of your past..There is no reason for physical abuse towards you. You toss so much out of not knowing.
I encourage you as a living testimonial that there is sun and peaceful days.
You must pray, you must research, find and go towards help as soon as you can.
Real Love won’t harm you and Christ won’t allow it to phase you.
I’m so sorry that you’ve went through anything to cause you pain and grief from your lover. Different, Better, wayyyyy better does exsist and still does.
There is nothing to reason through…Get Away
Your life depends on it.
I pray you tolerate no more..
Thank You
poeticjustice16 